Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
