You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
