when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
