oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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