Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
