Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize