Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
