if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize