why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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