I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
