I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
