We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
