I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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