Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize