sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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