dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize