We named our party play list daddy issues
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You made out with two different species that night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
A+ Viking dick
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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