we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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