You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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