God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
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according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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