..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
