yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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