Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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