So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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