Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
PANTIES FOUND
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