let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
