there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
