I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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