dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
