I looked at my own cervix.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
