I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
