The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want nice things and good sex
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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