Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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