Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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