I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
