There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
