Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize