All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize