yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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