my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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