i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
