why didn't you poke me back
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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