she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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