I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
