Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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