There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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