ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
