remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I smell like Dick and happiness
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
