Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
