I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
