grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
