He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
