D3 body, D1 cock
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
