I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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