Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize