I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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